Changemaker Women & The Very Painful Week

Changemaker Women & The Very Painful Week

A changemaker woman, the spirit of women allies and one good man who stood up.

In this very painful week I’ve been listening to national news, taking it all in. Women are furious. Women are sharing & taking action. We want a better future and we will have it.

The National Sexual Assault Hotline’s call volume was up 201% during the Ford-Kavanaugh hearing — Women, men & youth survivors were triggered.

Republican Senators delivered their questions behind the shield of a woman, experienced prosecutor Rachel Mitchell.

Dr Ford, changemaker. Can you imagine telling, as she did, your most traumatic story publicly for the first time to this?

I can’t imagine how terrified she was, but she pressed on. Calmly, soberly, factually, credibly she shared, in an intimidating room for anyone, and after harassment & death-threats. After having to take her family into hiding, when yet more predators had made her very home unsafe for her and her family.

Methinks he doth protest too much

Mr Kavanaugh, with his wild-eyed, frantic, overwrought, partisan spat — was the opposite. He made himself ridiculous and his shameless supporters leapt into action to praise and save him. Republican senators, you thought him so weak he needed your help? He showed his shameful, partisan colors, abhorrent to the highest court in the land — and So Did You.

So I’m sitting & reading a zillion posts & comments. But that is not enough for me. It is not enough for us.

Man or woman, when the worst has happened, you need to be believed. Men & women, youth and children rarely report. Re-traumatizing feels like death.

Women are and will be seen as full human beings, in charge of their own lives, the pawn of no man.

And let’s be clear. While many men are good men who respect women and celebrate us as equal in our humanity and the authors of our own lives — there are men who Do Not Qualify in the good man category.

A tree is known by its fruit.

Women are tired of having to be 10-times the good character as any man, just to be taken seriously. Noticing toxic male privilege is a start — DOING something about it is Necessary. So you’re not a bystander in your own life, or the lives of people you care about.

Women are done with men who aren’t good men. Men who ignore our humanity as a setup for violating us, for violating other men, our youth & innocent children, and even babies.

Changemaker women step into the light, we do not stand, we choose a strategy and act. We are allies. We stand up for one another. We stand up for ourselves, for young people and babies and yes, for abused men.

Changemaker Women Maria & AnaMaria

Like Maria Gallagher & Ana Maria Archila, I’m compelled to do more. Beyond my disgust, I want to make a difference for the world we all live in.

Here’s what I’m promising you:

#1, I’m in the process of unfolding a survivor-to-thriver weekend event. I don’t even know what to call it yet, but I know it will help you

  • Heal yourself .. so you can breathe again
  • Spot taker-men and those that could be
  • Turn takers away and turn others into allies
  • So you can own your space, command respect, and live free from fear.

It’ll be online and free to anyone who wants to attend. It’s in the works and will happen quickly.

Women, men & survivors of any gender are welcomed. The gender continuum is real.

#2, there’s more bubbling up. Now’s the time to take action, to heal ourselves and the beloved community. To share so others can spread far the healing power of love & respect. Love for self. Love for others. And the ability to size up bad actors and sideline them.

*** The time to act is Now. The next step is clear enough.

More soon, like a proper sign-up page, on how to access it for free. For now, signup @ so you get the invitation!

Are You In?

BONUS, a great reframe that empowers women by keeping the violence focus on violent men, by Dr. Jackson Katz, The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and and How All Men Can Help“.
Sneak preview with his TED Talk @ TEDxFIDIWomen