How to Get Promoted at Work, without the Work-Family Conflict Part

How to Get Promoted at Work, without the Work-Family Conflict Part

How to Get Promoted at Work, without the Work-Family Conflict Part

Doing, doing, dooooo-ing! I grew up thinking it was all about the work.

And while the work you do —¬†your production, its quality and timeliness — is important, promotions are about more than work. They’re about a good fit — which is why internal promotions are so valuable to a company or organization.

When leaders know you, they’re weighing your …

  • Leadership mindset
    • so others want to follow your lead
  • Quality of the relationships you have
    • including your boss’s favorite shows & sports teamsūü§ę
  • Ability to see future opportunities¬†
    • and uplevel processes to take advantage of them
  • Ability to see¬†risks to avoid
    • and fix them before they become costly issues
  • And of course, the quality and timeliness of your work
    • plus your ability to show others’ how

When you make these visible-enough and hearable-enough, you’re showing up as a leader, without se.

Congrats! It’s half the battle ūüėČ

Your bonus asset? You’re a known quantity and you know your company’s culture, which beats the crapshoot of a new hire every day of the week‚úÖ … &¬†why it’s called the inside track.

And you may be wondering, wishing, wanting to know “how can I do all that and be there for my family too?”

And yet, that Work-Family Conflict thing? So often it’s a simmering concern …

… and it doesn’t have to be that way.

Especially when they’re young, you want to be there for your kids. The dedicated one-on-one time. The gazing lovingly into their eyes. The holding close and enjoying first steps, words and more … it’s super important to¬†being a mom and often why we yearn for and have children! To love them, play with them, kiss their boo-boos, read and sing to¬†them, and allllll the sweet things little ones need.

Here are two super powerful, super simple tips to free up time so you can enjoy¬†your sacred family time. Did you know that ‘sacred’ means “dedicated or set apart”? (Definitely a¬†stumbled-into-learning-it thing for me.)

Tip #1 – Get the Conflict out of Food Prep!

Food is central to family, life, health and culture. And while we love feeding our friends and loved ones, when time is short … we want options!

  • Option 1, Family-cooking day (super for kiddos ~four and up): So that every evening is simple, nutritious &¬†flavorful.¬†“Tell me more..!?”

    >> Set aside a half-day to prep, cook, jar, and freeze or can … a week’s worth of the nutritious, flavorful food your family loves — and make it FUN! Sing songs, tell stories, share hugs and have a good time knowing you and your family will enjoy this food twice … while cooking it with your kiddos AND eating together in the week ahead.

    • When to shop? Is Saturday the day before your cook-fest? Shop on whatever day stands in for your “Saturday.” You can shop with one kiddo at a time, or with the whole crew — and educate them on how to choose nutritious foods and stay on budget.
    • When to cook? Sunday or whatever day stands in for your “Sunday.” This is your best opportunity to have fun and, bit-by-bit, teach your kiddos what balanced meals are, why they’re important, and what good nutrition does for their bodies and their lives! Plus, the staying-on-budget part — all while¬†having fun together.
  • Option #2, Hire a cook (especially helpful when your kiddos are too young to help cook)
    >> So you are playing, reading to or otherwise having precious moments with your young kiddos … and all you have to do is have the ingredients in the house (unless you opt for the cook do your weekly shopping).
    >> This way YOU are having dedicated time with your sweet kiddos & spouse, worry-free, while a good cook is doing the cooking.>> You have the option of family clean up with the kiddos participating as they can. For babies, they’ll be taking it all in, knowing that “we’re a family and we all pitch in.”
  • Option #3, Your spouse enjoys cooking? GREAT! Take turns.
    >> Simple as that … and of course you have the option of cleaning up after the young ones are asleep or,¬†if your children are old enough, or … everyone-pitches-in to load the dishwasher etc while sharing more of their day, their learnings, their dreams, wishes, goals and challenges**.
    >> **Creating a safe place to hear young ones’ challenges and help them work through those challenges is the bedrock of strong family bonds — so they know “in my family, we help each other”. Magic.>> If you’re cool with leftovers, your cook can prepare a double-batch to store in the frig or freezer for dinner another night … Voila! (And this can both cut your costs and free the cook to cook for another family, maybe even a friend.

Tip #2 – Simple Steps to Avoid Long Hours

  • How to get your life back & still kick it at work …

What Liberates You, Liberates Your People

  • Getting your time back …
    • First principles: Just as your life is yours, your time is YOURS. Control it or suffer – there are no other options.
    • How? Make expectation-setting your superpower early. Start practicing today.¬†
    • Many people can do the more common things. Your job is to do only the things only you can do.

Delegate everything that others can do, even if poorly at first.
Set the bar. Grow their skill, Praise their progress
… as they learn to do it well.
Watch out for slackers and eliminate them quickly.

  • Setting expectations made simple …
    • It’s a position you’ve wanted, the interview is wrapping up. You’re both clear on your fit for the position, your big raise in salary, the scope of the position, plus you’ve signed any papers and shaken hands.
    • You stand up and step toward the door and …
    • ¬† ¬† … stop the presses!
    • Turn to your new boss and say …¬†“by the way, no matter what, I leave at 4:00p (or 4:30 — whatever time you need in order to get 10-15 minutes ahead of traffic so you¬†beat the traffic, get your kiddos, whatever)¬†— but not to worry, I’m back online after they’re fed and asleep, to finish the day – productively.” And do it religiously.

Congrats, you’ve just secured Quality Family Time,
Gotten ahead of the traffic,
and kicked a huge chunk of stress OUT of your life.

  • Keep (or start!) your de-stress protocol …¬†for many it’s walking a mile or more at least once a day, phone-free, looking up to the lovely sky and beautiful trees (and since I turned 35, rotating through a simple strength training combo).
    • Breathing deeply
    • Smile strolling on your own, or with family members
    • Saying ‘Hi’ to the neighbors who happen to be out
  • Use the “I need calm & focus” 3-minute Wonder Woman Pose …¬†You may already know that, while a small-to-moderate amount of stress can help focus the mind … like a deadline or avoiding a nasty risk, too much stress hyper-focuses in the moment of threat.
  • But with day-in-day-out stress, no matter the source (traffic, work stress, home stress, you name it..). That day-after-day-after-day stress robs us of our mental clarity, of seeing options, of evaluating them adequately — by pumping out a ton of cortisol.>>¬†Slows our brain’s ability to process, see options, or think clearly.
    >> Robs us of our power to lead.
  • And cortisol, triggering stress and an¬†over focus on safety, relentlessly seeks safety and hides options. It’s tunnel vision – no options permitted. Not good for you, or your career.
  • So what to do? Your simplest, easiest, fast-and-sure way … the 2-minute Wonder Woman Pose* introduced on the TED stage by Dr Amy Cuddy, who was curious¬†about something she noticed about her Harvard students, all of whom were bright and capable.

Some students took up a lot of space and speaking loudly,
while others took up as little space as possible,
almost folding in on themselves,
and not saying much at all.

  • Guess who did well in class? Yep, those who¬†took up a lot of space for their size, physically and verbally correlated to doing better academically, while those who took up little physical or verbal space didn’t do so well.
  • Our intrepid researchers wondered if simply “acting as if” (non-dominant people posing as physically large and verbally loud) could result in better learning results — the answer?:

YES! And now Power Poses are a thing you can easily use to…

Show up at or near your best
& when you do, you’ll Consistently Get Better Results

  • How does it work?¬†Simply put, you’re using your body to trigger your brain to release its happy hormones, testosterone and serotonin.
  • How to Power Pose:
    • Where: You can do¬†in any public restroom stall, closet or unused room, anywhere in the country, and perhaps the world.
    • Stand upright, to you full height
    • Feet shoulder-width apart
    • Set your timer for 2-3 minutes (experiment used 2-mins, 3-mins works better for me)
    • Arms in a “V” to the sky
    • Lift your chin a bit
    • If possible, breathe slowly and deeply, through your nose if possible
    • Hold your pose and continue breathing slowly and deeply, for 2-to-3 minutes
      • Use earbuds to listen to mediative music & for when your 3-minute timer goes off.
      • Music only. Mantra’s ok.¬†No lyrics.



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